I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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