just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
