Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
