He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
