I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
