So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
