I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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