I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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