Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
