he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
