everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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