Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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