So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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