Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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