Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
