You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Randomize
