nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
