wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
