So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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