I wish I could teleport
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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