is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
