R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
