Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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