Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
