And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
