As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do herpes really smell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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