If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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