I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Randomize
