I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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