im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
