I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
