Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize