singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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