Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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