after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i think i just lost a toe
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
