I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
