My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize