the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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