So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
