Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
