we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize