with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
