You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
