Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if only i could text you this smell
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
