a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My cat gives me a boner
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
