yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
