every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
