Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
