Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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