Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Come on in and take your pants off
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