is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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