Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
