He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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