you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
