You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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