I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
