Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
