apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
