well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Girls should come with a carfax report
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
