I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
