She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
