I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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